new years eve

it's new years eve and my household is anything but festive.  that's just fine with me.  all the dogs are curled up sleepy as is my beloved steve in his recliner.  men and their recliners.  i asked him earlier if he made any new years resolution.  he was quiet for a moment, which tells me he's actually thinking about his answer, and finally said 'to quit smoking'.  i seconded that.  he didn't ask me if i had made any and if he had i wouldn't have had an answer.  i think as i've become older it's what i resolve to do, but how did i hold up the year before.  i've had a number of major changes in my life the past two years and live a life i had no hope for.  while it is strife with complications right now, i can honestly say it's a life i have chosen, and i've survived worse.  but this time i'm not alone.  happy new year.

end of the holidays

i don't think i'm the only one who is glad the christmas holidays are over.  such anticipation of upcoming events are just too much, too much money, too much anxiety, too many obligations, too much expectation.  and there always seems to be someone who is disappointed or unappreciative.  in the next couple of days i'll start taking it all down and putting it back in the garage and the house will return to it's former self of day to day clutter and dog hair.  if only the sun would come out for awhile so i would feel like there's something else less taxing to anticipate. 

ho, ho, ho

here come the holidays.  and i hate winter.  i'm sure who thought mixing them together was a good idea.  jesus was supposedly born during the summer months.  and who thought property taxes and the holidays should go together.  jeepers, people!!  but i'm in a much different place this holiday season than i have been before.  i've become engaged to a wonderful man who keeps me settled, and he comes with family, and my mother now lives down around the corner from me.  closer is better as they get older.  while all the same players were involved last year, they were all new to my life.  this year they are my family and i feel that way about them.  i would love to buy everyone i know a wonderful gift that wouldn't buy for themselves but funding for such endeavors have not been an option for a number of years now.  in retrospect having the money to buy everyone wonderful gifts most assuredly make the holiday merrier and i actually have no fond memories of those years at all, except for a child who is now an adult and out of my reach for many different reasons.  but this year is better for many different reasons and while i haven't spend much money, kept each of my selection on a tight budget, i content with what i've selected for each person i chosen to purchase for.  so all the packages that have to hit the mail tomorrow are ready, trans siberian orchestra is playing in the background, the christmas menu is planned, and i'm pretty much as ready for the holidays i'm gonna get.  if you haven't heard trans siberian orchestra, check em out.  they put out a new christmas rock opera every couple years and tour during the holidays season, and they are awesomely bitchin.  my favorite cd is 'christmas and other stories'.  hope everyone is coping with the holidays and well and if not look for those tiny moments of joy and seize them.